30Jan19

Observation: 6 years or a bit more before last year, since I moved to a different city for my job, my only place to socialize was at my workplace. Not informally but at least colleagues have always been the only people I knew or got acquainted with on a regular basis. No other people did I make an effort to build a habit of hanging out with regularly at all. I’ve always preferred staying alone but just ended up in residences with no neighbors who bother at all.

Then last year, I get my own apartment in the most crappiest complex but an impressive façade (they sold it to me right?), which I believe is the at the core of the unity that is the society collective of each and every neighbor and owner who share the struggle of getting the place fixed for one and all of us. There are so many faces and names I know and recognize and who know me (often with hints of notoriety), way more than could have been possible at a workplace maybe (unless I was hr). Despite taking a break from career (too lazy to admit that I still need to set up my own house) since Jan 25, In pleasantly surprised that not only have I not been completely cut off from all human interaction because I don’t go to work, but that I guess people are in general very understanding and still welcoming in their attitude towards me trying to not rush into the next job. I almost thought like I lost a race there, but then I recalled I’ve stepped off the race track long back when I didn’t get into engineering college.

I know staying cooped up does make the mind go cuckoo so I do make it a point to get some fresh air and fresher perspectives.

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17Jan19

Take the bitterness out of me


Sniffle Sniffle

07Jan19

Nose blocked, mind blocked. So hard to think of anything else but bhonsh bhonsh.

Comes as a random rare sniffle you draw in a few times and then it becomes as consistent as the bug that just won’t reproduce when you want it to but every time else.

Spent most of the day catching up on a TV show on Prime called, “Tom Clancy’s Jack Ryan” (because Jack should know to whom his ass belongs). Really cool show and a season that’s complete without any “let’s make them wait for next year or beyond for season 2”. I’m sure the producers or the investors were damn happy with this show.

The net speed was horrible and I had to watch videos pixelated like they were being censored. Strange, given that I still have enough balance before I hit the data cap. Really am embarrassment to watch smudges of colors moving around on a large TV screen.

I’m addicted to the new range of Caramel popcorn by ACT II. The nutty one is slightly better. Given that I have decided to skip going to the theatres, this is a great snack for my TV shows and movie binging.

More to come soon. Getting rid of this cold to come sooner. I hope.

Bhonnnnnsssshhhhh!


Tujhe Kya

06Jan19

It’s been an indoors day. Was too sleepy to really get anything done and things weren’t looking like they would get done. Missed meetings with the property developer. I mean no worse example of deadline stretch than these builders. Can’t get things done right and completed even after 6 years since its inception. Maybe a year or two could be excused for external factors. Anyways, I selfishly skipped the meeting focusing on issues not biting my ass. In turn, I didn’t get my own work done. Although catching up on a few movies and making my own gravy for dinner was kinda the happy ending to the day.

I started reading a book “Art of saying No”. So very much needed (preferably much before than today) and though I haven’t picked up the grace and tact of saying No. I’m relieved that at my current state of employment, I have found it much easier to find my own voice and decline requests when I need to. Fuck, No!

Did I say it’s cold? Cooking is the only wonderful way to keep warm on the outside and then from the inside. Yumyum.

Why the fuck am I writing everyday?

Tujhe kya!


Don’t ruin this. Please don’t ruin this. Don’t fucking ruin this.

Vague warning bells that often ring in my head when I’m trying to be myself but slipping into being too much into myself. I can’t even remember what triggered that anxiety but I knew I wanted to start with that expression and see where it heads back to

So I haven’t made like one shot big purchases apart from my laptop and phone (which wasn’t/isn’t even that flagship) in any other department especially for the home I’m settling into. Having my first own bed definitely breaks that record very comfortably (so totally pun intended). Pun intended, because hitting two birds with one stone is the Indian BOGO mentality. Proud to be conservative where it benefits me

Did I tell about my new cycling habit. It’s just enough to show enough relevant people that I’m into the habit but it’s too little that once those people realize the distance I commute daily they suggest that I walk the distance instead. Don’t take offence but all those of you who can’t get early enough to catch the company bus or cab would relate to what a boon it is to have your two wheeler. Well as things stand now, I’m not sure where I’ll be working two months from now.

But on the more cool side, this is my Trek 4300 mountain bike (never rode it on the mountain but I’m really scared of losing balance on those thin street/road bikes) from way back when in Goa. I think the high price invested in it has really proved itself as being a machine that I literally ignored for years despite being used moderately back at home. Only after moving to my new place which is a slightly longer walk to work but much nearer to a proper cycle repair shop (coincidence #win), did I get back on the saddle (and laga di bum ki vaat!) and have been enjoying the rides, however short, so very much.

JBL Charge 3 being so awesome playing my choice of music from my phone from a corner of the room. Love its sound.


Fuck! It’s cold!

COLD!

Temperature is so relative. Every drop in temperature feels like you’re gonna suffer from hypothermia. No matter from what to what.

Talking of cold, it’s also what this blog has been as has been my attitude towards it. I switch to not caring about anyone other than me really really fast and this shows.

Well anyways, I would say that I do hope this new year brings something new for you but you know that’s probably the best joke when I’m self aware of all the crap that just slips out of my head right from 2018 to 2019. Now think about it, we are not to blame. Event driven life changes are more practical than clock driven. To be honest, our own new year doesn’t even start till the mid of April! We got like three more months to make things happen and … no, make things fucked up rather.

Well as for getting personal. I’m walking out of a job that’s really wanted me to break up with it but I was unnecessarily clingy (and equally demotivated) at. So that’s a big relief though I have no clue what I’ll be good at doing, next. For now, finally finally finally buying a new TV set and watching stuff on it endlessly (figuratively, you nerd) without a cable or dish subscription (aka not paying to watch ads) is the absolute highlight of my new home and current vella status.

Only reason this feels like home is because it’s part of a very friendly society of people that I do look forward to meet and socialize with.

Also, I know that I’m the most important person in my while life and it’s something that I’m aggressive about at the worst of times. I do miss the friendships I messed up due to me thinking I’m so important (which I am). I wish them all the love and luck.

I mean why else would I be blogging on my own site for at the minimum an audience of one person: me.

It’s time to let loose… Hoping I don’t ignore this app like my gym shoes. Just never looked at them after my first visit to the gym.

Man! This blubber ain’t helping keep me warm. Need to get more obese.


IDE-al Choices

06Sep18

If you let it get to you, trying to choose sides (mostly products or brands) because you believe there is a conflict based on principles and values, you will always end up left with no choice or with an equally wrong choice. There’s always a wrong choice if you use a large number of rejection criteria. Take my search for an IDE for example. I need one to use for quick creation of Python code. To begin with, I never liked IDEs because of their size and lack of agility. Especially on a VM with limited resource to begin with.

So most popular ones that have been there since long got out of the game, because Java sucks. Secondly the current crop of well known, free, cross platform IDEs are electron based. There are Qt based ones too but they have a lot of learning of the tool itself that is required. Wing (Personal use license) was one of those. Helpful and intrusive. Now mocking Java and praising electron will be quite hypocritical. At least electron apps load in this lifetime and remain fairly usable. It is though a browser within and can hog memory over a very very long period of time. Continue reading ‘IDE-al Choices’