IDE-al Choices


If you let it get to you, trying to choose sides (mostly products or brands) because you believe there is a conflict based on principles and values, you will always end up left with no choice or with an equally wrong choice. There’s always a wrong choice if you use a large number of rejection criteria. Take my search for an IDE for example. I need one to use for quick creation of Python code. To begin with, I never liked IDEs because of their size and lack of agility. Especially on a VM with limited resource to begin with.

So most popular ones that have been there since long got out of the game, because Java sucks. Secondly the current crop of well known, free, cross platform IDEs are electron based. There are Qt based ones too but they have a lot of learning of the tool itself that is required. Wing (Personal use license) was one of those. Helpful and intrusive. Now mocking Java and praising electron will be quite hypocritical. At least electron apps load in this lifetime and remain fairly usable. It is though a browser within and can hog memory over a very very long period of time. Continue reading ‘IDE-al Choices’


To be precise, it’s the first time I’m staying alone in our parental home since I moved to my work city and not the umpteen number of times that my folks travelled overnight to my mom’s quarterly doctor visit and she prepared and took care of every little thing in her absence and there were other regular amenities as well. I could still be forgetful about a lot of things in those instances and took for granted several things that were taken care of by others. This time was almost as easy as those times except that I had the choice of managing on my own and using up what mom planned and prepared for me.
So what big differences were there that I couldn’t or didn’t overlook this time of solo stay?
Continue reading ‘My first ever solo stay at my folks’ place in 22 yrs’

Buses were my primary mode of transport when I first came to this city for my job. There were no pool rides that came to your doorstep and gave you the satisfaction of thumbing your nose at the extortionist auto rickshaw drivers who wanted to be prepaid to take you away, to your desired destination via their desired route.
Continue reading ‘Memories of buses and bus stations’

I love Megadeth more than Metallica now even though it is only more of their older stuff I gravitate towards but no matter how much they age, the fact that songs as fast as The Threat Is Real or as beautifully haunting as Conquer Or Die can be made really amazes me about what Megadeth can do whereas Metallica… They lost speed and I lost interest. I also like how Megadeth does make a less than Megadeth album and doesn’t just throw in the towel but comes back so much stronger with a better record.

The favorite live show quote:

“There are two ways you can hear this next song.

There’s our way… And there’s their way

For those of you that think this is their way, this song is called…. ”

Can you guess the song, the finishing of that quote?

I’m feeling fucking horrible because I behaved (as my ever condescending conscience would eternally remind me) real bad out of losing my temper at someone I do care about. I do want to justify and defend myself but I know that I am never able to compete with myself listing out all my own faults real and imaginary as being deserving of more severe hatred and loathing than those of the other person. I have been so conditioned to find my own faults as way worse than anyone else’s.

There’s something I’m not doing right every single time and I’m fucking tired of not getting wiser with each experience either. So much for giving a fuck about people’s every single fucking thing. Why does an introvert have this stupid fucking idea that he needs to fucking socialize. It just brings a fuck-ton of judgment on oneself. Who the fuck needs that? Honestly I dunno and I couldn’t fucking care less…but I wish it just becomes that easy.
I’ve been burned so often trying to reach out to people I thought as could be friends that not only do I not know how to be a better me (for the sake of others) but I also do not know what friends really are and what do you call those whom you can trust on having your back and not go mia or turn to one syllable answer bots when it’s fucking convenient for them.

Wonder why it is so hard to get back to my former self. Probably need to be self employed for that.

It is kinda true that I actually don’t give a fuck about you if I haven’t made you hate my guts with the help of my temper.

I am sorry but neither do you give a fuck and honestly nor do I have a fucking clue what for

i love helping my juniors but more importantly i love receiving that gratitude which makes my heart grow fonder of them and then messes up the whole experience where they don’t really want to reciprocate that much. i mean be nice and helpful and then fuck off. so i really need to curb my enthusiasm on seeing someone getting their work done on my dime and my time when i help them and not really expect a big payday of good conversations in the future because they really don’t want you to be that much a part of their lives as their work that gets blocked and hopefully their nice behavior and ample expression of gratitude would get you off their backs as easily as they would come back to leech on through the lies DP! they don’t deserve the help you give to hope for the joy they never want you to have.don’t break your own concentration and focus on your own work to really help them as they seem like they are stuck but they just know you would give in to your temptation to help them as soon as you see them fumbling. and to be honest it’s a bit proud ass of you to think that you want to take all opportunities to be seen as someone who needs to be seen as knowing everything or as much as you can at every opportunity. i am sick of you being so masochist (thanks K for teaching me that). Value, what you have. you are no more part of a free software community. money and not knowledge is the currency you are exchanging here and you better get something back in returns from those ungrateful people who think a fucking thank you is is a wonderful philosophy that you grew up with thankfully among a community of the most wonderful and like minded people but don’t let that nature be your downfall in the professional world where you need to look out for yourself and watch your own back. what you have learnt on your own and spent years practicing to recall at the drop of a hat is for you to appreciate and value like something really precious. you don’t hand out your precious possessions just like that, now do you? so get smart and don’t be such a pushover to just spill out all you know at the slightest of someone’s pretending to be in any kind of difficulty or more so at the hint of it.let people figure out things on their own. they are neither on the newsgroups or irc channels that you need to jump in to be helpful and be recognized. let them prove their worth on their own and not be reap off the benefits of you trying to be helpful and losing focus on your own work. it is okay to begin the next day without doing any work of your own, totally fine. but enough of willingly and proactively helping others. take your time to respond and finish your own work first. i don’t give a fuck as to whose work gets delayed because of you not helping others unless it is someone who matter in terms of the continuation of your employment.let’s take this one step at a time. remember and remember well, “helping others is extremely unproductive and it does not help advance your career or get you recognition for the responsibilities that you are committed to at all”. you are a mentor but it is time for you to do the mentoring in a passive way.let people come to you and you decide if they should need the help or get out of their situations on their own.


Why do I need to give you an answer? Why do you have to care so much about why I don’t care about socializing with you? Why so much concern for someone not opting for your company or your choice. Why would I take interest in a group where people want to be friendly but not friends? I never forget. I never forgive. Let others burn in the aftermath. I don’t need your stupid get togethers to open up. You don’t deserve to know me. And I don’t care about your issues any second beyond what I’ve to bear with. There’s no middle ground. I tried being my best and now I’m pushed to be at my worst. I’ll put up that mask everytime that misleads you to think that I care even the tiniest bit to waste any more time than I absolutely need to. Betrayal will be paid back in kind.. multiplied.

Never ever ask the same damn thing again. Because next time, if ever there’s one…I’ll not be as nice as last time. And it won’t matter where it would happen.